Nashville, Tracy, anywhere but Sacramento

Dane had to go on a business trip this week to Nashville for some training. I knew it was going to be a long week with 4 kids on my own.  I love each and everyone of my children, but what I love more is that break at the end of the day when Daddy comes home and rescues Mommy from all the chaos.  I decided that I shouldn't risk a nervous breakdown so I came to Tracy to stay with my very good friend.  My friend Tracey, who lives in Tracy, and her husband David graciously allowed me and my four children to hang out with them.  So we arrived yesterday and we don't leave until Friday, unless we are asked to leave earlier, and I have decided to kick back and enjoy this time away from my home and focus on my kids.  It is going to be a fun week.  So far all is well minus a few tears last night when they missed their Daddy tucking them into bed.

She did it

So Emmaleigh has been playing basketball for about a month now and tonight she scored her first basket in practice. I am SO PROUD of her. She is my sweetheart and I love her so much but seriously, other than me, the  world's most uncoordinated child. She is bright, funny, friendly, and loving but she is NOT athletic. When she dribbles the ball she also is dribbling herself. She jumps with the ball it is hilarious.  The thing I love most about Emmaleigh is she is having fun. I think she knows she isn't as good as the other girl's but she is having a blast anyway.  I hope she always stays this open with no fear of being embarrassed but just living life in the moment and trying things she may not be good at. I <3 that girl!

Habits

They say it takes 27 days to form a new habit. I have decided when it comes to food I am not going to try and break bad habits, I am going to only form new ones.  Webster's defines a habit as an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. I have decided my new habit that I am going to form is to eat at least 3 fruits and veggies a day! 


My whole life I have eaten poorly. Mostly, as a child, out of necessity.  As an adult out of gluttony. In April of 2008 I had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass. I went from 278 lbs. down to a low of 151. Gastric bypass gave me the kick start I needed to be thin and healthy without having to do the REALLY hard work.  I became very regimented into a work out routine.  I was doing really well. Then it all stopped. I am here now almost 3 years post op and I have gained back 22 pounds. I WILL NOT BE OBESE AGAIN!  Granted I did have a pregnancy and baby this last year but I also know it is due to a lot of bad eating habits. It is those late night snacks, the big macs, the chicken burritos, the western bacon cheeseburgers. You can't eat those things and not have them catch up to you.  So I started doing Weight Watchers.  What do you know, my husband joined me for this ride.  I am not dieting. I am modifying the way I eat and the way I view food. Food is here to sustain me. Food is not here to entertain me. (I rhymed, didn't mean to) 


I have officially begun a healthier way of eating. If I want a Big Mac, I will have one.  Just because I have one doesn't mean I have screwed up the whole week and to let it get to me and ruin the rest of the week.  I just start anew the next day.  So here is my list of new habits I am adopting.


1. I WILL weigh myself only on Wednesday mornings.
2. I WILL eat at least 3 fruits and veggies a day.
3. I WILL remember to take my multi-vitamin
4. I WILL enjoy one special treat a day
5. I WILL journal my food so I remember what I have eaten 
6. I WILL lose 30 pounds and weigh in at 140


This is my chance to get it together on my own. I don't want to be heavy anymore. I don't want to be struggling with a sense of hopelessness. I want my daughter to not be scared of food anymore. She sees my struggles and negative self talk and is mirroring me. I don't want that. I want her to be healthy and beautiful and not have to worry about her weight. Those habits start with me. I will form new habits this year. 

When your plan backfires

Tonight it was supposed to be Tuscany Tuesday, but when I opened my crisper to get the cheese...I found out that my cheese had gone moldy. I know in some third world countries they just cut off the mold, but for me I couldn't even look at it and feel okay about serving it. So I had to come up with a new plan and with hardly anything in my cabinets. (I really need to go grocery shopping)  So I made shrimp sauteed in garlic and butter, served over rice. It was delicious. It just reminded me of when Dane and I first married. I was a HORRIBLE COOK! I couldn't even cook boxed food. I burned a frozen lasagna. I boiled the beta fish that I left on my stove top.  Attention to detail was not my strong point.  Dane liked his mom's cooking more than mine. (Who could blame him? Although at the time I sure did). We lived on Pasta Roni. It was a sad existence indeed.  Then about 2 years ago I decided I was going to learn to cook. I have since found that I have a passion for making good food. I love watching others enjoy the food I make. I feel validated when I receive a compliment about my cooking. I know it sounds odd probably to others but I truly feel elated when I see my family enjoy their supper. What started as my own project of getting my cooking to where my husband looked forward to it, has turned into a passion. I now think of the conversation we will have as a family around the table. I think of who will eat what and will they enjoy it. I think of happiness and funny comments that will be made.  Most of all I think of is that someday they will be grown and gone and my table will be quiet and empty and I will have only 2 to cook for, will I be able to reduce my meals and shopping enough to where my cheese doesn't go moldy? Or will I notice it is going bad and call my kids and their families over to have a supper made by their mom and hope they enjoy all the love I poured into every ingredient.

It's Early

So here I am sitting in the silence of my house. The kids are still asleep except for Keagan who is sitting next to me chowing down on his bottle. All I can think of is the chaos that will ensue when these kermunchkins wake up. I love being a mom and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. You see, the chaos is worth it, the fighting is worth it, the tears are worth it, the potty accidents are worth it, because in the end there is love in this home. We might have days of chaos and we might have days of poor discipline and shouting but at the end of the day there are hugs and smiles and love. When we tuck those kidlets into bed and ask them what their favourite part of the day was, there is never a child who couldn't say something (except Keagan since he can't speak). In fact if they think we are going to forget to ask them, they remind us! For our kids they think we're grand. When I see myself failing as a parent, they do something that makes me think, they do understand and my hard work is paying off. Thank you God for getting me through these days. Thank you for guiding my children's hearts and guarding them when I am not able to protect them. Thank you for sustaining their lives and giving them such happiness and joy. Thank you for providing a home for them so I will be able to enjoy them for eternity.

Joshua 24:15
But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day who you will serve, whether it be the god of your forefathers from across the river or the god of the Amorites in whose land you are living, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.