Take a moment.......
You know the cupcakes would win out everytime.
Man I love instant gratification. Often to my own demise. I will sell out for the immediate thrill instead of holding out for the hard working payoff.
I have seen this all too often in my parenting. Let's just be honest folks, sometimes the embarrassing tantrum in the supermarket makes you want to call CPS on yourself so instead you buy the candy they want in hopes of taming the beast within for the last 30 minutes of your trip. You also resort to doing what you swore you would NEVER do and open the package let them dive in and pay with the empty wrapper at the end. All with the hope that this will relieve the stress and anxiety of shopping with short little people.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret..."IT DOESN'T WORK, EVER!"
You might feel better in the moment, but those little "totes-adorbs" kids you were blessed with have the will power and tenacity of a Gladiator. (Sometimes I think if we set Little K loose on ISIS, the USA will have won the war on terror, that's another story for another day though).
So as I was furiously cleaning my house today before Little K's teacher came for a home visit, I was thinking of how could I best get through to her the significance of his issues. We had met earlier last week and she kind of brushed off my concerns as if the sole problem was my parenting. So being the human behaviour analyzer that I am and the fact that I am able to lay huge amounts of guilt on myself, I naturally spent the whole week beating myself up and second guessing my parenting with Little K. (This naturally ended with me also eating through 2 Family Sized Bags of Cheeto's...yoga pants anybody)? I realized that I had to own some of those issues. I have chosen to not fight battles because I wasn't ready to win it, and in that he has gained a foothold on me. I have to choose new battles to fight. I needed to fight the war on terror.
Let me tell you, sometimes when you begin to feel the most discouraged God just comes along and gives you a squeeze and a reminder that He's got this. This teacher who left me with a very poor impression and clearly even today came into my home with her preconceived idea of who we were as a family and as parents, ended her visit with these words. "I wish more parents were like you. So many allow their children to be in control. With your son it is clear you know what you are doing and you are in control. You choose your battles wisely." and "Wow, you are a fantastic parent. Where did you learn how to do the things you do and where do you get your ideas from?" followed with "I am going to seek an evaluation and see if we can't get more answers to what his challenges are and how we can support him and your family." Now I don't share that for praise or seeking any compliments, I share it because that is not how I feel. I feel like daily I fail. Sometimes though God just gives the reminder that he has this planned and it's for his glory. I consider it a joy that I was able to look her dead in the eye and say, "Only by the grace of God. Everything I have learned is instinctive and intuitive. God has looked out for me and placed articles in my lap and people in my pathway when I needed help the most. God has not allowed my mind to rest when something was wrong and I was being told it was I who was wrong. God has loved these children far before I did and he knit them together. They are uniquely and wonderfully made." Who knew my little pile of blessings would turn out to be a testimony to the Glory of God. Instantly in that moment when she asked me that, I thought of two songs and I have put the lyrics below. Lastly this verse came to mind-
"Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses" 1 Timothy 6:11b-12
Beautiful Things
Michael Gungor
All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Whom Shall I fear
Chris Tomlin
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?
Verse 2:
You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my Sword and Shield
Though troubles linger still
Whom shall I fear?
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side
Verse 3:
My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
